And I'm totally sticking to my guns.
From southern Jersey to suburbs of Capitol Hell, its quite a stretch of stench. Overcrowded, overpolluted, and littered with guns from one MLK Drive to another. Murky waters and dirty beaches. White trash towns and ghetto 'hoods chalk full of fugly haircuts, fugly 'tudes, and even fuglier accents.
Camden NJ, right outside Philly, was named as America's most violent city. Keep driving down the turnpike and we got Philly, the handgun capital of the world. Then lovely Delaware -- loaded with Nascar roadways and Military bases, so the less said the better. Maryland is next, where you quickly find out you're south of the Mason-Dixon line.
Oh, look over there, it's Baltimore -- and by "look" I mean "do you smell that?!?" -- where HBO's The Wire recaptures the real vibes of Charm City. It's like a less scripted modern day Hill Street Blues, sans the actual charm of course. More accurately put, Baltimore is like a modern day Compton, sans the rap stars and actors and...you get the picture (and yo, cop the CD!). So congrats B-more: You've surged past Compton on the Most Dangerous Cities in America rankings.
Where's a talent scout like Jerry Heller when we need him? Hell, where's Edgar Allan Poe?
Capitol Hill Street Blues were found on HBO's K-Street a few years ago, a somewhat interesting show which politico Clooney and helmer Soderberg were behind. I ran into this one actor on the show one night, who I had seen also portray Huey Newton in an awesome one-man theatre act the year before. Last year I ran into him in downtown Los Angeles, and found out he still drives a '93 mitsubishi eclipse and turns up Algerian rock. Yeah.
My little sister goes to grad school somewhere in Maryland. I wanted to buy her a bullet proof vest by Under Armour for her birthday, but she declined. So I'm buying her the opposite: she's getting a sweet L.A.M.B. watch instead.
The bling should look great on her as she walks around in the dark like a Raven in the night.
