The Music Sounds Better with Youth

The washed-up '08 Granny Awards were as dull as dishwater last night, but the show provided me a great opportunity to practice one of my newfound hobbies: Live-blogging as a ghostwriter.

I got to chime in with commentary on the telecast in real time over at Stereogum. Which commentator am I in the thread? Well I wanted to use the porn name Herbie Handcock, but apparently that moniker is taken. So I chose the pen name of 'B.J. Whistleblower' -- which was going to be my nom de porn in real life if I had taken up my friend's offer last year to work a 12-hour shift (not 12-inch shaft, ahem) at Naughty America in Woodland Hills as a PA for $200 cash. On a Friday. All just lust for the sake of making money, and a few friends with benefits. But I'm not ready to sell my soul just yet.

Made some money doing liveblogging for a German agency found on Craigslist which wanted people at sporting events to provide match commentary via their mobile phones. Its great exercise for a scribe because I can develop my own imagination about how the events are transpiring, which always look more interesting in my head. Similar to when I used to watch scrambled Spice on channel 99 -- and preferred it to be scrambled.

Obama won for 'Best Spoken Word', which was cool, yet odd because the audio transcript of Audacity of Hope is hardly a Def Poetry Slam-style throwdown. Stephen Colbert's audiobook last year was my first time buying one of them things. I bought and downloaded that on iTunes, which as implied by the RIAA is a virtually non-existent retail entity. Still clueless to the max.

A rare pulse-inducing moment came with the Foo Fighters performance in the parking lot outside the Staples Center, as Sir David pulled the 'my grammys moment' a lot better than I had expected. They utilized the amateur winners nicely (ie, as a backdrop), and the six-minute performance with the orchestra crescendoed into Zeppelinesque levels at the end -- fittingly with John Paul Jones on stage too. It reminded me of why I love the Vitamin Records compilations of original rock masterpieces via symphonic recreations.

That parking lot is a parcel of land with loads of potential. AEG Live is headquartered in that downtown area, which used to be a crackhead's paradise of bloods and crips.. With events like the X-Games and so on taking place there you understand the rapid upswing of life in downtown Los Angeles. (AEG owns the Staples Center and the Nokia Theatre adjacent to it.... as well as the Galaxy, Major League Soccer, and now Goldenvoice..... which runs Coachella.)

Next week the Foos play in a more natural setting, the arena rock cathedral of the MSG for the first time in the band's history. Thats also where Grammys took place in 1997 for the first (and last) time. That night both Beck and Dylan performed. A rare night where the Grammys didn't feel like a blinged-out Westminster Kennel Show; or "the 2007 BET Hip-Hop Awards" which MTV2 was broadcasting concurrently on Sunday night.

Hard to think: A dude like this even played the show.

BTW, I'll say it again: Hip-Pop killed the video star. It also devalued the importance of live performances. Rap sucks live. Always have, and still does. DAT is a fact.


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